The third way to have a stress free and more peaceful holiday season is by Saying No. Setting boundaries!
The entire month of November on the podcast was dedicated to saying No thanks to things that aren’t serving you well in your life.
If you haven’t, I highly recommend going back to listen to episodes 67-70.
Honestly, saying no is still really hard for me sometimes.
But what I have found to be the case 99% of the time is that the person on the receiving end of the no isn’t really as upset as I think they’re going to be.
The holiday season presents lots of opportunities to do things and be involved in things.
So when you feel like you’ve overcommitted yourself or your family, it’s alright to decline. Say no.
You are likely not the only one feeling that way.
Saying no isn’t something that comes naturally for the majority of people. Especially if you’re like me and tend to be a helper or a people pleaser sometimes.
It can be really hard. But with practice, like anything, it CAN get easier.
Here’s some tips on how to say no.
Take a Pause
First, if you need to think about it or take a pause before you answer, ask that person, “can I think about it?” or “let me think about it and I’ll let you know…”
And really do follow up and let them know either way.
This gives you the opportunity to not answer yes out of “default” or excitement, but to really think through how you would make it work, and if you will have time, if you want to.
Be Clear and Brief
If you do want to say NO, don’t dance around it. Be sure you actually say no.
Be brief. Avoid lengthy explanations. The other person doesn’t need to know every single detail of why you can’t. THAT gets awkward for everyone when you start rambling on and on about why you can’t say yes.
You can let the person know that the refusal isn’t about them personally though.
For example, you could say “the timing isn’t good for us right now” or “we’ve decided not to add any other events this month, so we’re going to say no. Thank you for thinking of us though.”
You definitely don’t have to do that though.
“No” or “No, thanks” is a sentence, right?!
Why You Should Say No
Here’s the important thing to remember, if you don’t put boundaries around your time, OTHER people will gladly take your time.
They don’t know what’s too much for you.
They ask because you’re awesome and you have lots of great things to offer, but don’t burn yourself out on being “helpful”. And that doesn’t end up helping ANYONE.
Hear me when I say, from my experience, when I say yes to something and I really should say no, I end up being resentful and anxious about it.
So taking a moment of pause before I answer someone to think about if I’m going to have the time, if there’s a chance I will feel resentful if I do say yes, and think through what I really want to say is the best thing.
Saying Yes to Something is Saying No to Something Else
So if you do say yes, you’re going to have to say no to something to make it happen. You can only be in one place at one time.
Saying yes, I’ll help coordinate the holiday virtual bake sale IS saying No to what you would be doing with that time- shopping with your mom, baking cookies with your kids, reading a book, taking a walk. Whatever you could be doing in that time is what you are sacrificing in order to help with the holiday bake sale.
Once you focus on what’s best for you and your family, it will become easier for you to say no to friends, family during the holiday season.
This was only one of the 5 simple ways to bust holiday stress. You can get your free download of the guide below to read ALL the ways to help you have a stress free and more peaceful Holiday Season.
Links & Resources
More about the Gotcha Mama Podcast:
The Gotcha Mama Podcast is where we share honest stories of the joys and struggles of mom-life with young kids.
Each week host Amanda Bennett interviews a mom about topics ranging from awkwardly making mom friends, to chasing BIG dreams and finding purpose, to managing crippling anxiety and depression. You’ll hear stories from moms like you with the purpose to inspire, encourage, and entertain you.
We understand that motherhood can be lonely and make you doubt yourself. The Gotcha Mama Podcast exists to let you know that you are not alone as a busy mom of young kiddos, no matter what you’re dealing with.
The show is all about tearing down our insecurities as moms by honestly sharing our stories and a little of what we’ve learned along the way.
We believe it’s a whole lot better riding the rollercoaster of motherhood together!
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